When I was a little girl, I thought I'd be married at 22 and having my first baby around 24. Well, that didn't work out...thank God because at 22, I had no business being a married woman! I'm glad I had all my 20's to figure out who I was and what I wanted and to experience life with my friends and make my own choices. When I met TJ at 26, we knew within the first few weeks that we were going to be married someday. I do believe that when you meet that special someone, you just know. At least, that's how it happened for me. So, at 30, I married my soul mate and now at 33, I am pregnant with our first baby. It's not the timeline I had originally planned, but I know things happen for a reason. The first few years of marriage are supposed to be the happiest, especially if you start trying for a family. Unfortunately, that's not how our first few years went. Although there were happy times and our love remained constant, we were faced with disappointment and sadness. Maybe God knew that we weren't ready to be parents when we had our miscarriage almost two years ago and for some reason pregnancy wouldn't happen as easily for us as it does most people. I don't know the real reasons for the last two years, but I do know that it has changed us as people and as a married couple. It has strengthened us and taught us how to be a team and how to support one another in times of happiness and in times of heartache. I believe now that God has been preparing us for this baby and for the life ahead. Looking back now, as I gaze at my growing belly, I wouldn't change a thing. Maybe that sounds saddistic, but everything we've been through has gotten us to this exact point today and has brought us this miracle, hand picked just for us.
Back to baby...In just 10 days we will find out whether we're having a sweet girl or a sweet boy. I am hoping this week flies by and the 19th comes very quick! Everyone asks if I have any ideas. If I were to listen to the old wives tales and take into account that I've had dreams of my baby and it's always a girl...I'd say girl. But, I know I can't count on anything being accurate except that ultrasound. So, I guess we will have to wait! I haven't really bought anything because I'm not a gender neutral kind of shopper. So, I can't wait to find out so we can finally start buying things and start tossing around nursery ideas.
It's amazing how quickly my body has changed. I swear I can feel my stomach stretching, especially at night. Sometimes it feels like it's going to pop. I have cellulite on my ass and upper legs that I catch out of the corner of my eye as I walk by the bathroom mirror. Then, I have to get the hand held mirror and look closer....BIG MISTAKE! Not a pretty sight. I guess I shouldn't worry because my husband is loving my new body and I've been praying for all this for years, so I should be celebrating the cellulite right? I don't know how anyone could celebrate cottage cheese ass, but I'm trying. I notice that I'm constantly touching my belly now. I think it's just natural. Sometimes, I don't even know I'm doing it. I guess it's my way of touching and holding baby while it's nestled in there, until it's nestled in my own arms.
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