Still Longing...

When I started this blog almost a year ago, I titled it longing to be a mommy because that's what I was feeling and doing at that time.  It was the only thing that mattered to me.  I endured a lot of pain and obstacles over the last year, but it has all been worth it.  I'm sitting here 38 weeks pregnant, longing to be a Mommy! I know technically I am a mother.  I have been caring for and protecting this little one inside me for 9 months, so I do feel motherly in that way.  However, I am still waiting for that moment when I see her for the first time, I touch her for the first time, and I watch TJ with her for the first time.  Everyone says it's an indescribable feeling and I can't wait for that.

I am so ready to have this baby.  We are just waiting in anticipation for something to happen.  Even though I'm scared, I just want to be in labor so I know it's happening and that she will be coming very soon. Right now, it's just a guessing game of when will it be?

I have an appt. and sono on Wed to see the size of her and I will be talking with the Dr. about doing an elective inducing at 39 weeks if she's not here by then.  My office does that for patients who are traveling a distance or when the baby is big, so I fit both the requirements.  I'm 1-2 cm and 90% effaced as of 5 days ago, so I was hoping something would happen before the appt. on Wed but there's no way to predict how things will go.  Could be tonight...could be next week, who knows.  All I know, is that we are so ready to meet Charlee and become parents for the first time.  We are ready for her to change our lives forever!