Happy Valentines Day!

Well, I wish I was holding my new little Valentine right now, but turns out I'm still pregnant! The last two doctors I've seen have told me that they will not induce until 41 weeks, which is not what the other doctor had originally told me a few weeks ago.  That's a whole week from now...I can't imagine that.  I'm 2 cm dilated and 80% thinned, which is what I was last week so no progress really.  I was kind of bummed about that, but the doctor said that was still good.  When they did the sono last week, she was measuring 7lbs14oz, give or take a pound.  He didn't seem concerned about the baby's size...saying " oh, she's probably about 8 lbs or so." Easy for him to say.  He doesn't have to push this baby out of his vagina.  Plus...if she's still in there next Wed. How much bigger will she be???? I'm losing weight at each appt., so does that mean she's gaining it??? I just want her out already!

I know she'll come when she's ready and things happen for a reason.  Most women wait ten months to meet their baby, but I've been waiting almost 3 years! Maybe that's why I'm so anxious.  TJ said last night that we should be cherishing each day because it could be the last time Charlee is in my belly or it could even be the last time I have a pregnant belly.  I'm trying not to get too upset or frustrated, but it is hard.  After being pregnant for 40 weeks, it's hard to cherish this belly and not just want this baby out!  

I'm really hoping she comes within the next few days.  I stopped working last week, so I'm just home trying to find stuff to do.  I've cleaned, done laundry, repacked bags...everything is done! I keep watching A Baby Story on TLC and it just makes me want this baby even more! It also makes me nervous not knowing how my labor is going to go.  I'm not really scared about it anymore, just ready for it to happen.  

Come on baby Charlee....you have a world of people ready to meet you!

Still Longing...

When I started this blog almost a year ago, I titled it longing to be a mommy because that's what I was feeling and doing at that time.  It was the only thing that mattered to me.  I endured a lot of pain and obstacles over the last year, but it has all been worth it.  I'm sitting here 38 weeks pregnant, longing to be a Mommy! I know technically I am a mother.  I have been caring for and protecting this little one inside me for 9 months, so I do feel motherly in that way.  However, I am still waiting for that moment when I see her for the first time, I touch her for the first time, and I watch TJ with her for the first time.  Everyone says it's an indescribable feeling and I can't wait for that.

I am so ready to have this baby.  We are just waiting in anticipation for something to happen.  Even though I'm scared, I just want to be in labor so I know it's happening and that she will be coming very soon. Right now, it's just a guessing game of when will it be?

I have an appt. and sono on Wed to see the size of her and I will be talking with the Dr. about doing an elective inducing at 39 weeks if she's not here by then.  My office does that for patients who are traveling a distance or when the baby is big, so I fit both the requirements.  I'm 1-2 cm and 90% effaced as of 5 days ago, so I was hoping something would happen before the appt. on Wed but there's no way to predict how things will go.  Could be tonight...could be next week, who knows.  All I know, is that we are so ready to meet Charlee and become parents for the first time.  We are ready for her to change our lives forever!